M is for Mokkai

One of my favorite pastimes is mokkai jokes. I love cracking them (much to the displeasure of my friends). Not only me, but a great number of my friends enjoy them too. Most of us would have been on the receiving end of these ‘jokes’.

What characterizes a mokkai joke from an ordinary joke? There are three differences.

1)      Mokkai jokes are not funny.

2)      They get increasingly less funny as they are repeated.

3)      People’s stomachs don’t ache after a great mokkai joke.

One of the best mokkai jokes I’ve heard is this one:

A Don gave his body guards a Koka (bag to carry things) and told them that he was going out. If they opened the bag, they would be shot dead. The Don goes out and then comes back. He touches the bag, finds that it is cold. He shoots the two guards. Why?

Because…

TANDA MATHLAB KOKA-KOLA!!

According to me, there are two things which constitute the worst tortures in the world. Mokkai, is of course one of them. Here is the proof.

Let’s say there’s this person who is immortal. He cannot be attacked, his skin does not break. He can’t be drowned because he doesn’t need to breathe. Fire doesn’t affect him. How do you torture this guy? USE HIS IMMORTALITY AGAINST HIM!

He CAN hear. Use that. A horde of mokkai jokes is all is necessary to defeat this great immortal.

Mokkai = irritated faces.

Too much mokkai = extremely irritated face.

ONLY MOKKAI = PURE TORTURE.

Wondering what is the other torture I mentioned? It’s tickling. (Mokkai.)

Mokkai jokes are referred to in many ways. Blade, aruvai, poor jokes, etc., etc.

A mokkai joker can crack a mokkai joke using anything and everything said to him/her. Even though I use the word ‘her’, I haven’t seen many women mokkai jokers. The reason for this is, perhaps best defined by Anuradha Menon (Lola Kutty in MTV). “I believe that men are funnier than women because women are too busy being glamorous.” I leave grappling with her viewpoint with you. Personally, I have no idea.

To finish with, here is a collection of my favourite mokkai joke

1)Why did the dumb school teacher call the plumber?

The question paper leaked out.

2)In olden days, where there were no chemical paints, beetles were crushed to form colors. What would be the last words of a particularly mokkai beetle?

I’m giving up my life for art!

3)What would be a stand-up comedian’s toughest challenge?

An audience of clowns.

4)The best disappearing act: jobs

5)War isn’t about who is right; it’s about who is left.

6)What’s new and improved? If it’s new, it isn’t there yet so it can’t be improved. If it’s improved, it should have already been there so it isn’t new!

7) How to prove a horse = zebra

Let tanx=1n

tanx=1n

tax=1

writing tax in tamil, வரி

வரி = 1

multiplying by குதிரை on both sides

வரிகுதிரை = குதிரை !!!!!

Yours Non-typically

Ajay

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